the hot breath of the white thing

this is my newest best friend. he breathes hot air on me. i really like him. sometimes he stops and i find that a firm poking with my sturdy nose often does the trick and gets him going again.

in other news, i've had loads of visitors lately as would be expected of someone as popular as myself. one of the skinny one's litter mates was here last night so i took the whole pack to the pub where i was adored by all especially the lovely gal with the strange accent who loves me. i gave her a little attention, it's good to give a little back to one's fans from time to time...

i've had a number of visitors of the smaller variety in the past few weeks which has actually been quite nice. i have to admit a fondness for the small humans, they always smell nice and have a habit of dropping food. i like to follow them around (see point about dropping food).

in other news, it's colder and wetter out and i really am not so keen on walking on the wet grass. as the days get shorter the snoozing gets longer, he's at home this week so there has been some extra snoozing involved.

tripe is back, mmmmm... tripe....

does my nose look big in this...

or, as scarlet o'hara said: i saw this in the window and just had to have it.

fearless hunter...

i've been way too busy to blog because i've become a mighty hunter of rabbits. they are no match for my cunning and prowess. unless of course they run away.

in other news they finally bought me my own chair, i am not that keen on the sofa unless there is a duvet on it. ocassionally i let one of them sit in it as they look so cute all sitting like that.

rabbit rabbit rabbit rabbit

i ate a rabbit, a whole rabbit, i am cunning and mighty. i hunted it down - admittedly it wasn't moving much as it lay still warm on the side of the lane, but i did give it a good shaking and bravely carry it all the way home where i set about devouring it. i started on the feet - not so lucky now are they mr hop-a-long. by the time to got to the head i was seriously stuffed so i didn't eat that bit. for some reason she made me eat it out side! No idea what her problem is, still i treated her to some wondrously odoriferous smells from my bottom last night. don't ever say i'm not all about the giving and the sharing.

weekender

one of her friends came to visit me again. i do like a visit but for some reason whenever someone comes to stay they accidentally lock me out of my room and away from my futon. it's super annoying and i have to sleep in the bedroom with them. i even checked several times in the night but the door was well and truly shut.

we had a lovely walk except it was a bit too long for my liking. but there was cow poo which is always a bonus. i also got to eat some nuts, shells and all...mmmm...

a helping hand...

i am always with the helping... here's me helping with the baking.

still sleepy after all this time

yup, that's what i've been mostly doing. occasionally when the bright orange thing they call the sun makes a brief appearance in the garden i move the sleeping outside. i've also been trying out not coming back when called, making inappropriate growly noises to people who don't know me, farting loudly and other highly amusing tricks. just the other day i ate a whole pine cone which was really funny until i pucked it back up which wasn't so funny. oh and i had a huge poo in the neighbours garden which was so funny cause he was all like, i'm so sorry to the neighbours and i was all like, ha ha ha...

so sue me...

i haven't been updating much cause, i've been mostly sleeping. plus they were home all last week, banging around and generally getting in the way. they destroyed perfectly good wall and the place was full of dust for days and that makes me wheezy and grumpy. and they wouldn't stop going on about the lovely brick wall and the gorgeous beam they'd uncovered which is all good and well but what about their lovely and gorgeous dog who is trying to nap here folks.

went on a ridiculously long walk and met a lovely spaniel and then what i though was another lovely spaniel till he kept trying to hump me and then followed her and me almost all the way home so then we had to walk all the long way back to get rid or the very annoying spaniel and then walk all the way back home again. and it was already a long long walk. man, if she wanted to go for such long walks she should have got a jack russle or something equally as insane. i protested by lying down a lot and refusing to figure out stiles.

we also went in the car to visit various family members, theirs not mine, and they made me share a very small space with his big feet on the way back. i was not amused.

and to top it all, hello, rain? what is all the water about? rain bloody rain. i'm of the opinion that we should move back to the 'ford where:

1. i was suitable adored by many.
2. it didn't rain so much.
3. they didn't take me on stupidly long walk
4. i didn't get accosted by randy spaniels and
5. i had my best friend patch to play with.

visitor from the 'ford

jon came to see me from deptford. it was nice to have some new attention. the weekend was lovely and sunny too which was also nice. i like to lie on my back in the sun and get my tummy nice and toasty. they had a barbeque which was really selfish. all that lovely meat right at nose level and i wasn't allowed to have any of it, i got some rubbish dog food instead. there was serious sulking. and i wasn't allowed to sleep on my new futon, apparently that's "for guests" . now that i come to think of it, having guests is rubbish.

new dog on the lane

i finally met another dog. it's been ages since i had a good gallop with one of my own. unfortunately as soon as it began it was over and his people were heading off. i tried my hardest to follow but she put me back on my leash and even though i refused to walk for ages and ages eventually it was clear that the big grey dog was gone and i might as well pay her attention again as that sometimes gets me sausages.

i woke up nice an early this morning ready for some attention. apparently she doesn't appreciate being woken at 5am. what a wuss, i mean really! all i was doing was having fun walk backwards and forwards over the sqeakiest floor board in the bedroom. how her species got to the top of the food chain i'll never know!

rain

wot can i say. it's raining. i hate the rain. she makes me go out in it too. can you believe it, does anyone have the number for the rspca? still i refused to poo this morning in protest, ha!

the other day when it wasn't raining they took me for a lovely walk and i met some cows. they're like horses only less elegant, i love horses. the cows were quite friendly and even came over to say hi. i even got to lick one right on the nose. for some reason though she was getting all uppity with me cause i 'wouldn't move'.

here's a picture of me when it wasn't raining!

grumpy

i have been mostly grumpy of late. my front paw has sore and to make matters worse they have been bathing me on a regular basis. i am not amused. then yesterday when i took them for a walk they got all shirty with me for trying to protect them from an obviously dangerous running boy. i don't know why i bother. to punish them i slept on the sofa downstairs instead of my usual position of sleeping on my cushion next to their bed.

wounded knee

she had a friend visiting last week which was nice as she had a bag which i got to nose around in until they noticed.

my leg has been a little sore where one of the metal pins is sticking out a bit. i'm probably going to have to have it removed, the pin that is not my leg. that's okay though cause i love going to the vets and the vet's love me.

how cute was i when i was a puppy? of course when you're that young you always think there's something wrong with you, like your ears aren't sticking up or your heads not big enough for your body, hten when you look back at the pictures you think, i wish i'd known how cute i was when i was that cute. now of course i'm more handsome and majestic than cute.

sweet dream...

just doing what i do best...

sing, sing a song...

i'm very musical you know. i like to help the skinny one with his compositions. i'm very helpful that way.

the good life

haven't been online for a while as we have relocated to "the country". not sure which country but it's certainly different from deptfordshire. the small fuzzy creatures here have short bobtails not long tails like the ones in the old place. plus the new place has stairs which are a lot easier going up than going down. and this new placem, while distinctly lacking in chicken bones snacks, has a lots of poo snacks just lying around in the fields. i'm particularly partial to the deer flavoured ones. there's a dog lives nearby but he doesn't seem to like me much and neither do the three dogs that live in the big house. as much as i love it here i do miss my best friend patch.

all in all i'm settling in well though.

vets meet again...

spent the day at the vets again. the little dark haired nurse wasn't there but all my other friends were so it was cool. apparently one of the pins in my super bionic new knee joints are what is causing the big funny lump on my leg. once the bone has super fused giving me ever more super power greatness then either the vet called john or the vet called matt will whisk it out.

i had some of the magic snoozie medicine while i was there but i'm not sure it really agrees with me. i've been rather jumpy and uneasy since then. still i had a nice run about with sassie from next door in the green nearby and we discovered a stash of raw chicken which she wouldn't let us eat (see previous note about bossiness). she even made us move to the other bit of green away from the all you could eat raw chicken buffet. shame.

there's been a lot of talk about 'moving to the country' lately. apparently this is happening next week. i shall keep you all informed.

laundry day

sometimes i help with the laundry.

just chillin'

not much to report really, helped her water her friend's plants, well to be more accurate i helped with her friends recycling. actually it was really funny right, cause when we were leaving she dropped my lead and ran off down the stairs thinking i'd run after her like the sap i am, but i fooled her and went back up the stairs and hid round the corner. it was seriously funny and then when she came back up all the stairs to find me i jumped out and ran around like a loon and we both had a right laugh.

had a flirt with some rather attractive young ladies yesterday and a bit of off the lead time with the skinny one but because my leg is still a little sore i've been mostly just chillin' out.

day trip

had a great day yesterday. usually when it's just her and me, she spends the day doing things like laundry and cleaning or knitting (i like that cause then i get to curl up on the couch with her). but yesterday she harnessed me up and we went off in the campervan. i love the campervan cause i don't get tied up and instead i've got the whole of the back area to stretch out in. we arrived at a place with loads of other campervans and some nice people who made a fuss of me. we left the van with the nice people who are going to be 'welding' it apparently. we then had a nice walk through some grass and I swear i could smell the sea.

this is me in the van last year on the way back from holiday

then the second best bit, we got on a train! i love trains, not as much as horses of course, but still a fair amount. it was super cool because there were simply hundreds of school children who of course made a huge fuss of me and who were all wearing shoes with laces which are the best for nibbling.

we got off at brighton where i could definately smell the sea. i was again made a huge fuss of by the very clever train station workers of brighton who obviously know a good thing when they see it. then we got on another train! and then we got on a third train.

i must admit that it was all a bit tiring in the end and i tried to have a nice lie down in the park on the walk back from the train station to home but she wasn't having any of it. sometimes i think she's really a bit too bossy. i've got some pics of me sleeping on the train but the skinny one took the phone with him before i could download them.

doga

i have been practising the ancient art of doga of which i am a master. it should help me get back to my normal super canine level of fitness. i had a great freak out run on the grass yesterday but i may have overdone it and as a result my leg is sore today. i think it's only a muscle thing though.



on another note, they still wont let me up on my bed at night. i'm considering a) whining, b) eating something like one of her shoes or her knitting, c) sulking loudly and stomping around or d) all of the above. as a result i have not been sleeping at all well.

finally i'm getting decent walks again. not as good as before but she tells me that i will get a bit more each day and soon we'll be back to normal. i hadn't realised how bored i'd been! now if only i could get them to stop this new bathing regime, i mean who need two baths a year let alone a week!!!

i have been a busy boy in the last week. first it was a visit to the vet's cause my feet were sore and so of course i gave them a good licking and then she was all like, don't lick your feet cause you're licking them raw, and i was all, but it feels good. she made me wear a sock for days so i couldn't type. so anyway now i'm on those stupid big pills for ages until the infection clears up.

then yesterday i went in the car to visit my special friends at the special vets. it's out where the horses live but although i could smell horses i didn't see any. i always seem to get super tired and have a sleep when i'm there and then when i wake up bits of my fur have gone. wierd! the little french guy told her that i'm good to go on walks again so that's great news.

but now it's raining and i hate the rain so if after all this time she decides to try to take me out in the rain, which i hate, then she's super got another thing coming.

i've gotten the skinny one trained at last. he's a bit slow but he's showing reeal progress. now if i sit he gives me a sausage.

one of my favourite things to do is to wait till she is in the shower and then to sneak into the bathroom and steal the towels. sometimes i get bored and just leave them on the bathroom floor but sometimes i like to drag them out into the hall. it's also really funny to wait till she's wet and then go get one of the skinny ones brand new shoes and make sure she can see that I'm about to destroy it with my mightiness. it's funny to make her get out of the shower while she's all covered in soap. heh heh, i'm a right commidichien!

they have made my bed too high for me to get on. not only that but they've started sleeping in it. i had to sleep on the couch, can you believe it. i even had a good whine at them but to no avail. i tell you i don't know what the world is coming to, after all i let her share my pillow and didn't get all upset about her stinky breath on my face in the morning. and the skinny one was allowed the edge of the bed, it's not like i made him sleep on the couch. i am at a loss for words.

horses!

we all went for a drive on saturday out to the countryside which was all well and good except aparently i'm not allowed to then have a good run about because i've 'still got a bad leg'. yeah whatever, still i did find some fox poo to roll in which was nice, unfortunately it was very old and dry so the smell didn't really stay with me but it did smell enough for me to have a mad two minutes and i accidently ran full blast into her leg, it hurt my head a bit and she wasn't very happy with me i think cause she swore at me. opps! on the drive back we saw some magnificent horses which was totally the highlight of my trip. once when we went to cornwall there were horses and i even managed to lick one, it was seriously the best thing ever, even better than wrestling or bones or fox poo. i love horses.

first you wait till she has gotten your end of the couch nice and warm, then it's best if you get on the cushions on the couch rather than just on the couch. you can always kick the cushions onto the floor later.

yesterday she gave me a 'coconut' whatever that is. still I killed it good and it's wet insides were soon all over the ground. ha, take that 'coconut'. i am mighty.

alien attack

sleeping was a big success yesterday. then the skinny one returned home and so i enjoyed some tail wagging and barking. had a lovely neck scratch from the lady neighbour, i was planning on some jumping up and face licking but was thwarted but the quickness of lady neighbours scratching, can't jump and face lick while your necks being scratched and that's a fact. then she came back which was nice but then she left again which pissed me off so i went and sulked on my bed, but then she came back again so all's well that ends well.

oh, i nearly forgot. this morning the skinny one's head was eaten but some kind of one eyed googley alien and then his body was carried off by some crazy unnaturally moving silver thing. i tried to protect him by barking and and biting it but to no avail. she wouldn't let me follow the silver strange moving thing to recover the body either, still we had a nice walk after that and i almost got to eat a nice chicken bone but she always spoils it by grabbing my head and shaking my mouth open till it falls out or if i'm really unlucky she sometimes puts her paw in my mouth and has a good root around. lucky she smells good or i might bite her for trying that.

this morning while out for my bathroom break i found a very cool thing which I mightily carried back to the den. i was having the best time killing it but then she tricked me away with a biscuit. my leg is still a little sore but i'm totally ready to have a good run around or failing that a good nap. in fact that is the plan for this afternoon especially if i can get on the cushions on the sofa, oh yeah!

i don't have a picture of the thing i got this morning. but to prove how brave and strong i am, here's me verses the giant chicken. i brough that down good.